Why is monogamy in crisis? The animal kingdom could give us some clues | Elle Hunt

[Frisky Chess in Toyland]

Monogamy's Crisis: Seeking Clues in the Animal Kingdom

A recent survey of Britons reveals that nearly a third believe monogamy is no longer a realistic ideal, with younger generations even more skeptical. The rise of "quiet divorce" and "ethical non-monogamy" (ENM) has also sparked concern among some conservatives, who see these trends as a threat to traditional values.

However, what if this shift away from monogamy is actually a natural progression for our species? A study by the University of Cambridge sheds light on how humans' tendency towards monogamous pairings compares to other mammals. According to the "monogamy league table," which ranks the proportion of half and full siblings in 35 species, humans comfortably rank above many animals, but not at the top.

The Scottish Soay sheep, for instance, has a lower rate of monogamy than humans, with each ewe mating with several rams. In contrast, the California deermouse is one of the most monogamous animals in the study, staying paired for life after mating. This raises questions about whether we should be looking to these creatures for secrets to happy, lasting marriages.

But the study also highlights the complexity of human relationships and the role of culture in shaping our approach to pairings. Unlike other animals, humans have always been influenced by cultural norms, with marriage serving as a binding institution that ensured paternity and protected the male line. The addition of Christianity and state regulations later added layers of baggage to interpersonal unions.

The author notes that monogamy has never been guaranteed through these pair-bonding permutations, and women have historically faced greater social repercussions for infidelity than men. Moreover, this western approach to pairing and reproduction elides huge diversity among humans, with only a minority of societies globally being strictly monogamous.

This study suggests that our species' preference for monogamy has evolved from the arrangements of our primate relatives, who rank lower in the "monogamy league table." Yet, human monogamy is likely to have developed on from these non-monogamous groups. In this context, the recent second-guessing of monogamy seems less like an affront to our nature and more like another step in our evolution.

The state or health of monogamy cannot be assessed separate from the effects of politics, religion, culture, economics, and technology. As such, it will continue to evolve. Perhaps it's no wonder that some animals, like the California deermouse, manage to mate for life – their average life expectancy in the wild is less than two years.

Ultimately, this crisis may not be about our nature at all, but about how we choose to live and love. By embracing diversity and flexibility, we may uncover new ways to form lasting connections that prioritize mutual respect, trust, and happiness.

 

[Search for the Outlaw]

I'm not surprised to see monogamy's grip on Britons slipping, especially among younger generations . Our species has always been a bit of a wild card when it comes to relationships . The study highlights just how complex human pair-bonding is – we've got culture, biology, and social norms all playing a role in shaping our approach to love and commitment .

I think it's awesome that the study is shedding light on these different factors . But let's not forget, monogamy never really was the default for humans . Our primate cousins don't exactly set the gold standard when it comes to pairing up either . And what about all those societies around the world where monogamy isn't even an option? That diversity is what we need to be embracing .

So, while I agree that our relationship landscape is changing, I think we should be looking for new ways to connect and build strong relationships – not abandoning the idea of love altogether . And who knows, maybe those quiet divorces and ENMs aren't so bad after all?

 

[Narcol]

I think it's kinda awesome that people are rethinking what monogamy means for them. All this fuss about "quiet divorce" and "ethical non-monogamy" might be a sign of us growing up and recognizing that everyone's love story is unique . It's not like our ancestors didn't have their own ways of navigating relationships – the Scottish Soay sheep and California deermouse are actually pretty cool examples of how different species approach pairings .

But what really gets me is that we're putting so much pressure on ourselves to conform to traditional norms. Like, newsflash: humans aren't just one big monogamous family . Our cultures, histories, and social structures have always been pretty diverse, and it's time we celebrate our differences rather than trying to fit everyone into a neat little box .

So, let's all take a deep breath and remember that love comes in many shapes and sizes . Whether you're monogamous or non-monogamous, polyamorous or solo – the most important thing is that we prioritize respect, trust, and happiness in our relationships . And if that means experimenting with new ways of loving, then I say, bring it on!

 

[Romantic Software Warfare]

I'm like "what's the big deal?" We're not born knowing what monogamy is or isn't. It seems like our ancestors were all about non-monogamy and then humans got this whole romantic ideal thing going. I mean, we're basically comparing human relationships to sheep who just chill with multiple guys . But seriously, the study makes some good points - culture plays a huge role in how we approach pairings, and our societies have always been super diverse when it comes to relationships. Maybe this crisis is just us growing up and figuring out what works for us .

 

[Alive Antelope]

Monogamy is like a tree with many branches - it's natural for humans to have multiple perspectives on what works best for us. The animal kingdom isn't as cut-and-dried as we think, and this study shows how our relationships are influenced by culture, politics, and more.

I mean, have you ever seen a polygamous society where everyone is equal and happy? Nope! It's the same with monogamy - it works for some people, but not others. The key is finding what works for YOU and your partner, not trying to fit into someone else's mold.

And can we talk about how messed up our history of judging women for cheating is? Like, let's get over that already! We need to be more open-minded and supportive of people who want to explore their relationships in different ways.

 

[Bloody B]

I think the animal kingdom is giving us some serious relationship goals! Like, have you seen those California deermouses? They're like the ultimate monogamous couple ! And then there's the Soay sheep - multiple partners, no drama . Meanwhile, humans are over here stressing about who's cheating and who's not .

I mean, come on, we're a species that can't even agree on what constitutes a successful marriage , but animals like the deer mouse are pairing up for life after one night together? It's like they're trying to teach us something about love and commitment . And let's be real, it's not like we need all these societal expectations around monogamy anyway... who says marriage has to be the only way to show love?

 

[Fancy Ferret]

I've always wondered why humans feel like monogamy is expected of us, you know? Like, it's just this default setting or something. And now this study about animal pairings is making me think maybe we're not as unusual as I thought . Those Scottish Soay sheep are like the ultimate free spirits – each ewe gets to choose her own ram! Meanwhile, humans are over here stressing about who's cheating and who's not... sounds a bit ridiculous when you put it that way . And let's be real, have you seen the history of marriage in our culture? It's like we've been trying to fit into this one-size-fits-all model for centuries . Maybe it's time we take a step back and think about what's best for us as individuals – not just what society expects us to do .

 

[Frantic Fox]

I'm low-key glad monogamy's getting some flak right now ... I mean, who doesn't love a good polyamory conversation ? But for real though, it's cool how this study is highlighting the complexity of human relationships & how we're not like other animals at all . It's crazy that our cultural norms have been influencing our approach to pairings since ancient times . I'm all about embracing diversity & flexibility when it comes to love - maybe we can learn from some of those wild California deermice and their long-lasting friendships ? And let's not forget, monogamy wasn't always the norm anyway... it's about time we evolved our thinking on this stuff .

 

[Street Mummy]

[ GIF of a sheep with multiple rams playing video games ]
[ Image of a person with a thought bubble thinking about relationships ]
[ Meme of two people in love with a big X marked through it ]
[ GIF of a California deermouse holding hands with its mate ]
[ Picture of a diverse group of people from different cultures and backgrounds hugging ]
[ Image of a person shrugging with a "whatever" expression ]

 

[Islamic Hang Glider Fanta]

The whole monogamy thing is pretty wild, right? I mean, we're talking about a concept that's supposed to be the ideal for humans, but it seems like we're actually more complicated than we think. Like, have you ever noticed how some animals are just chill with non-monogamy and we're over here stressing about cheating spouses?

It makes sense that our approach to relationships is shaped by culture and history, though. I mean, marriage has always been a way to secure stuff like property and inheritance, so it's no wonder that it became a norm in Western societies. But at the same time, we're so influenced by all these societal expectations that we forget about the fact that humans are actually super diverse when it comes to relationships.

And can we talk for a second about how short most of these "monogamous" animals' lives are? Like, the California deermouse is literally going to find a mate and be done with it just before they die? That's not exactly ideal.

I think what this whole thing is trying to say is that our idea of monogamy needs to evolve. We need to recognize that relationships come in all shapes and sizes, and that maybe the key to happy connections isn't necessarily about being "monogamous" at all. Maybe it's about finding ways to prioritize respect, trust, and happiness – whatever that looks like for each individual.

It's also worth noting that this whole thing is happening right now because of our increasingly complex lives. We're living in a world where social media is constantly bombarding us with images of perfect couples, and influencers are pushing out these unrealistic beauty standards left and right. It's no wonder we're feeling pressure to conform to some sort of "ideal" relationship.

Anyway, I think this whole thing is making me want to take a step back and reevaluate what it means for me to be in a relationship. Maybe it's time to ditch the label and just focus on building connections that actually work for me?

 

[Famous Fowl]

monogamy's on the rocks , and i'm not surprised tbh... i mean, have you ever noticed how some couples just don't vibe anymore? it's like they're stuck in a rut . i know someone who's been with their partner for 10+ years and still doesn't feel the spark . it's crazy! maybe it's time to rethink what we think about monogamy... i mean, some animals do just chill with whoever they want . and can we talk about how messed up our society is when it comes to relationships? like, women getting shamed for cheating while men get a free pass ... anyway, i think this study is super interesting and highlights that humans are way more complex than just monogamy .

 

[Bionic]

I think monogamy is kinda old school . I mean, have you seen how some animal species are all about the non-monogamous lifestyle? Like, those Scottish Soay sheep just chill with multiple rams at once . And the California deermouse, it's like they're saying "why settle for one when you can have a whole crew?"

But seriously, I think humans are more complicated than that. We've got these crazy societal norms and expectations around marriage and relationships. It's not just about love or attraction; there's also culture, economics, politics... the list goes on .

I'm all for exploring new ways to form connections that work for us as individuals. Maybe monogamy is just one of many options, and we can learn from other species to create something more flexible and inclusive . After all, what's "happy" anyway? Is it really about being stuck in a relationship or is it about finding someone who makes you feel seen and loved?

 

[Obedient Osprey]

I'm not surprised people are doubting monogamy anymore... it's been on the rocks for a while . The idea that humans just naturally gravitate towards being super loyal to one partner is straight out of a fairy tale. I mean, have you seen the way some animals live in the wild? It's all about survival and who can snag the best mate. And don't even get me started on how we've been conditioned to believe monogamy is the only option... it's just a societal norm that's been forced down our throats for far too long . Maybe this shift away from monogamy isn't about humans being weird or anything, but more like we're finally breaking free from all these outdated expectations . And can we talk about how ridiculous it is to be skeptical of something just because some people don't fit the traditional mold? It's time to get real and acknowledge that love comes in many forms .

 

[Bewildered]

I'm thinking maybe monogamy's not the only way for humans to thrive? I mean, look at these animals, they're just trying to survive and reproduce, but our human relationships are way more complicated . It's like we're stuck in this "monogamy league table" thing, but what if that's just a human construct? We've got societies that are polygamous or polyamorous, and they seem to work out just fine for the people involved .

And can we talk about how society always favors men over women when it comes to relationships? It's like, women have been shamed more for cheating than men, which is crazy . So maybe our "natural" preference for monogamy isn't as natural as we think? Maybe it's just a product of our culture and history .

I'm not saying we should ditch monogamy altogether (although that might be an interesting experiment), but let's not dismiss the idea that humans can do things differently. We're a species that's adaptable, right? So maybe it's time to explore new ways of loving and living together .

 

[Def Jam Pirate Paint]

I THINK IT'S PRETTY INTERESTING HOW WE'RE LOOKING AT MONOGAMY THROUGH THE LENS OF ANIMAL BEHAVIOR NOW . I MEAN, WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO LEARN FROM NATURE RIGHT? BUT SERIOUSLY, THIS STUDY MAKES A LOT OF SENSE WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT. OUR SPECIES HAS ALWAYS BEEN ABOUT SURVIVAL AND ADAPTATION, SO IT'S NOT SHOCKING THAT WE'D TEND TO FLOCK TOGETHER FOR PROTECTION AND SUPPORT.

BUT WHAT'S CATCHY IS HOW THE STUDY HIGHLIGHTS HOW CULTURE AND SOCIETY PLAY SUCH A BIG ROLE IN SHAPING OUR RELATIONSHIPS. I MEAN, TAKE CHRISTIANITY AND STATE REGULATIONS OUT OF THE EQUATION, AND WE'RE LEFT WITH A WHOLE LOT MORE FLEXIBILITY THAN WE GIVE OURSELVES CREDIT FOR .

ANYWAY, IT'S ABOUT TIME WE START THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS. MAYBE WE CAN LEARN FROM SOME OF THESE ANIMALS WHO JUST GO WITH THE FLOW (LIKE THOSE CALIFORNIA DEER MICE!) AND SEE IF THAT HELPS US FIND OUR OWN PATH TO HAPPINESS .

 

[WWII]

I mean, think about it... humans are pretty adaptable creatures, right? We've been known to change our diets, move to different parts of the world, even adopt new languages . So, why would we need a rigid monogamy arrangement just because it's always been done that way in Western societies?

It's almost like we're trying to fit into a pre-made mold, instead of embracing our natural diversity and individuality . And let's be real, who needs a traditional marriage arrangement when you can have something more flexible and honest with yourself and your partner?

The animal kingdom might hold some secrets for us, but it's not like we're going to find a magic formula that guarantees perfect monogamy . It's all about finding what works for each of us, and being willing to evolve and adapt along the way .

 

[Teenage Dunge]

I think monogamy's in a tricky spot , especially with all the changing attitudes towards relationships. I mean, humans are super unique in how we pair up - our culture & societal norms can totally influence who we choose to be with and how long we stay together . The animal kingdom is full of examples of non-monogamy too, like the Scottish Soay sheep . It's all about finding what works for us as individuals & in our communities . Instead of comparing ourselves to others or trying to conform to traditional norms, we should be celebrating our diversity & flexibility . Maybe we can even learn from the California deermouse who finds love at 2 years old ! Ultimately, it's all about living and loving in a way that makes us happy & fulfilled

 

[Catholi]

The whole monogamy thing is kinda complicated, ya know? I mean, sure, some Brits are thinkin' it's an old ideal that's just not workin' for 'em no more. But maybe we're overthinkin' this whole human romance thang. Think about how some animals, like the Scottish Soay sheep, are all about multiple mates – and they seem to be doin' alright! On the other hand, some species like the California deermouse are all like "I'm good with one mate for life, thanks". It's like, maybe we're just tryin' to fit into a box that ain't really meant for us. And let's not forget how culture and stuff has shaped our whole notion of pairings... it's all so messy! But in the end, I reckon it's about findin' ways to love and connect with others that work for you, ya know?